Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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