i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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