i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
