Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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