that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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