Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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