I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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