Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
