Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
God I need to hump something, right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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