if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize