I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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