i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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