yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
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billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
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So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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