I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
