Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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