she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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