Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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