you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
