I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
