i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
