I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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