I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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