Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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