Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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