Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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