Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.

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  (206): i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to. http://tfl.nu/oxy7
  Replies (3) Good night (3152) Bad night (618)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone

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  (601): i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone http://tfl.nu/50pu
  Replies (13) Good night (1089) Bad night (4106)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.

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  (610): I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you. http://tfl.nu/0cak
  Replies (13) Good night (1433) Bad night (2592)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u

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  (401): Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u http://tfl.nu/jall
  Replies (21) Good night (4318) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.

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  (940): Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car. http://tfl.nu/1zvq
  Replies (8) Good night (911) Bad night (2587)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait

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  (617): I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship (617): Wait http://tfl.nu/k9zo
  Replies (5) Good night (2840) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with

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  (812): There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with http://tfl.nu/wqvq
  Replies (11) Good night (799) Bad night (2734)
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  (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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  (424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel
  Replies (10) Good night (2226) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation

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  (860): When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation http://tfl.nu/q5aa
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (492)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.

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  (269): We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable. http://tfl.nu/14d9
  Replies (3) Good night (1656) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.

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  (812): My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete. http://tfl.nu/hbes
  Replies (1) Good night (1080) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?

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  (716): Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog? http://tfl.nu/399r
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.

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  (410): Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me. (443): Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life. http://tfl.nu/8aep
  Replies (5) Good night (805) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink

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  (202): Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink http://tfl.nu/99ua
  Replies (5) Good night (673) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.

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  (301): You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins. http://tfl.nu/7khe
  Replies (4) Good night (218) Bad night (695)

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