Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.