Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have aggressive nipples.