Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?

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(440): View more from Ohio

Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day

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(817): View more from Texas

Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.

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