Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me

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  (816): normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me http://tfl.nu/ze3z
  Replies (86) Good night (1589) Bad night (23598)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems

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  (201): bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems http://tfl.nu/1roz
  Replies (34) Good night (4058) Bad night (1581)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time

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  (248): I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time http://tfl.nu/uesv
  Replies (8) Good night (1163) Bad night (5323)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.

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  (847): Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better. http://tfl.nu/ewir
  Replies (17) Good night (3309) Bad night (800)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?

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  (337): Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am? http://tfl.nu/uaqy
  Replies (11) Good night (4022) Bad night (999)
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  (+82): View more from

  I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.

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  (+82): I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes. http://tfl.nu/b0wk
  Replies (24) Good night (1064) Bad night (7499)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'

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  (732): I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.' http://tfl.nu/iq97
  Replies (27) Good night (1574) Bad night (5289)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.

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  (585): You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you. http://tfl.nu/pv3c
  Replies (9) Good night (7582) Bad night (1040)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?

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  (602): I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans? http://tfl.nu/zjae
  Replies (44) Good night (4779) Bad night (1413)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

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  (847): Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over? (312): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/ubhn
  Replies (18) Good night (4646) Bad night (1275)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.

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  (636): it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa. http://tfl.nu/cslo
  Replies (19) Good night (1781) Bad night (533)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently

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  (601): The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently http://tfl.nu/6pjr
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (650)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Steaks?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Ash Wednesday.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?

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  (267): Steaks? (215): It's Ash Wednesday. (267): If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made? http://tfl.nu/8kzi
  Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (378)
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  (805): View more from California

  Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!

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  (805): Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?! http://tfl.nu/o9wh
  Replies (4) Good night (650) Bad night (326)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.

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  (678): If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed. http://tfl.nu/28dl
  Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (200)

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