Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?

  (1-510): View more from California

  you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.

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  (510): called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic? (1-510): you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore. http://tfl.nu/b816
  Replies (19) Good night (2562) Bad night (747)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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  (508): Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here http://tfl.nu/nzus
  Replies (22) Good night (3926) Bad night (543)
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  (408): View more from California

  hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?

  (925): View more from California

  Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual

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  (408): hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened? (925): Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual http://tfl.nu/smzs
  Replies (6) Good night (4288) Bad night (520)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me

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  (201): I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me http://tfl.nu/61f7
  Replies (24) Good night (708) Bad night (6376)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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  (803): It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/hg6l
  Replies (37) Good night (9363) Bad night (1198)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."

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  (917): well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you." http://tfl.nu/h98x
  Replies (3) Good night (3123) Bad night (818)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

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  (701): He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there http://tfl.nu/wgp9
  Replies (2) Good night (1039) Bad night (1915)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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  (778): Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight? http://tfl.nu/8s8e
  Replies (7) Good night (4203) Bad night (876)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.

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  (207): Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me. http://tfl.nu/7so1
  Replies (20) Good night (3030) Bad night (1103)
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.

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  (458): I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/ja3o
  Replies (19) Good night (1118) Bad night (5356)
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  (516): View more from New York

  WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE

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  (516): WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE http://tfl.nu/y0z3
  Replies (10) Good night (1383) Bad night (3393)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final

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  (423): My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final http://tfl.nu/c4wx
  Replies (6) Good night (1824) Bad night (536)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing

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  (214): when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing http://tfl.nu/yb6j
  Replies (6) Good night (560) Bad night (380)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.

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  (586): You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas. http://tfl.nu/7o12
  Replies (7) Good night (1121) Bad night (348)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree

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  (716): Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree http://tfl.nu/2wro
  Replies (1) Good night (209) Bad night (444)

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