WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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