how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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