I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
