Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize