I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
