I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
