How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
