he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
