He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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