ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
