I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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