One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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