I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
