:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
