your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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