week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
