Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
