So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
