Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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