Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
