Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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