Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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