ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
