im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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