you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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