Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
