Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
