hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
