just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
