im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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