I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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