can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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