He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
