Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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