I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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