come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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