i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
